Will Swinging Help Our Marriage?
As divorce cases keep on rising and marriage failures become more of the norm, we see many couples looking towards Swinging as a possible fix. In our opinion this is rarely the case. Swinging through our experience, helps strong marriages get stronger, but inevitably causes the rapid dissolution of weak ones. Swinging is not a magic bullet, and although in some rare instances it might help marital problems linked to a lacklustre sexual relationship, it is a disastrous choice especially when the problems are jealousy related.
Exploring Sexuality as a Couple
Many of the experienced Swingers we have spoken to have told us that they had perfectly strong, caring relationships before they tried swinging. Most of them were attracted to the swinging lifestyle as a means to experience something different as a couple, a means to extend their sexual boundaries.
Swinging adds a new dimension to any relationship, a possibility of communicating on the highest possible plane, with an honesty level that might not have been possible before entering the scene. Swingers also form extremely strong bonds between them and other couples. This explains why the Swinging community is such a socially vibrant one, where couples meet in non-sexual contexts, travel together and build deep-long lasting friendships that usually outlive their libidos.
Swinging and Cheating
Honesty is the major tenet of the Lifestyle. It is also where most couples flounder in their swinging adventure, and might also act as a deterrent for one to act upon their fantasy. The crucial difference between Cheating and Swinging is that both of you have made a conscious decision to experience this lifestyle together. There is no such thing as only one partner in a relationship being a Swinger. Likewise, Swinging is only fun whilst all parties are willing and not coerced or pushed, whether directly of indirectly, into it.
Being with your swinger friends should not be a clandestine affair, both you and your partner know exactly what the other is doing, and you’ve discussed why they want to do it. Both of you want to share this adventure together – Being this open will make swinging better for the both of you.
Can Swinging Save Our Marriage?
Our advice is that if you are having marital issues the best solution is a councillor. Mrs L had the unfortunate experience of a couple in the final stages of their marriage ruin what could have been a beautiful experience by erupting into an argument half way through a swingers party.
Swinging is best experienced by a couple that is able to talk to each other and share with each other their intimate secrets. And if problems should come up in the middle of something, then this couple ought to be able to work through them. Weak marriages are typically a sign of not being able to talk through particular problems. Communication between a couple is paramount
Swinging tends to complicate your relationship, and this could be its final straw. Work things out before trying swinging out.
Swinging can offer just the ‘kick’ that your strong marriage needs; however it will not solve issues that are already present.
If you are able to work through problems as a couple and just want to experience more in the area of sex and fantasy, then swinging could be the answer to your dreams.
An online survey of 1,092 Swingers conducted in 2000 by Bergsrand & Williams concluded that independence, communication and revitalised relationships were the primary reason people gave for why they were Swingers. Swinger couples also had a higher general satisfaction with their lives and judged their lives to be more exciting than non-swingers
De Visser and McDonald further corroborated these findings in their 2007 study, which found that successful Swingers had better intra-marital communication. In a Swinging couple, both partners are responsible for the happiness and satisfaction of their partner, both sexually and emotionally. This usually helps strengthen the bond between the partners.
Both sexes experience misgivings in Swinging; however it is usually men who are the culprits here. This is usually centred on jealousy and is manifested in men as an issue with other men desiring their wives. Women on the other had become worried that their husbands would abandon them for one of their Swinging partners.
In some rare instances, one partner in the relationship might develop ‘Swinging fatigue’ but feel obliged to continue in the Lifestyle out of a misguided obligation towards them. This is often what leads to the break-up of Swinging couples, and is a true shame as generally a short break from swinging is usually enough for both partners to get in sync again.
There are some clear takeaways from the more successful Swingers we’ve gotten to know over the years. Many of them have crafted strong limits within which their swinging adventures must be confined, such as only Swinging with married couples, keeping to the same room, and always arriving and leaving together. It seems that clearly defined boundaries do wonders to keep the green eyed monster in check.
In conclusion, both interviews with Swingers and scientific studies ascertain that when approached with honesty and the right frame of mind Swinging really does strengthen relationships. This is provided that the couple in question have a strong, healthy relationship to start off from.